who the fuck do you think

06:04 pm: today was grand


woke up
i was over jasons
walked to the book store
they had nothing
walked to jasons
walked to my house
walked to target
then homedepo
then meijer
then home
then my mom drove jason home n im here










yesterday
went to jasons after school
hung out with kristina n devon n jason
we all went to my house so i could cheek in
it was pointless walk
went over devons
hung out ther all night
i was going to spend the night
i dint







daybefor that


i dont remember

08:43 pm: gay
today
im off grounding
so i went over chrisis
hung out with him all day
idk
fuck this thing

06:54 pm: i stoll this from liz
Part ONE:
Name: gaven
Birth date: 3 8 90
Birthplace: i dont know
Current Location: chesterfield
Eye Color: blue
Hair Color: brown
Height: 5'9 ish
Righty or Lefty: right

LAYER TWO:
Your heritage: irish
The shoes you wore today: dc
Your weakness: my penis?
Your fears: hieghts and spidrs
Your perfect pizza: idk
Your dream life when your older: tour amirica
LAYER THREE:
Your most overused phrase on AIM: 'lol'
Your thoughts first waking up: fuck the world
Your bedtime: whenever ussualy before midnight
Your most missed memory: bieng really close with my friends.

LAYER FOUR:
Pepsi or Coke: idc
McDonald's or Burger King: arbeys
Single or group dates: idk
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: moon shine
Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla
Cappuccino or coffee: Capp

LAYER FIVE:
Smoke: used to
Cuss: yes.
Sing: sometimes
Do you think you've been in love: idk
Want to go to college: hell no
Want to get married: idk.
Believe in yourself: not really.
Think you're attractive: no.
Think you're a health freak: nope.
Get along with your parent(s):no way
Like thunderstorms: i dont know
Play an instrument: i got a guitar
LAYER SIX:
In the past month.
Drank alcohol: um.. i cant remember
Smoked: yes
Done a drug: yes
Had Sex: no
Made Out: no
Gone on a date: no
Gone to the mall?: no
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: no
Eaten sushi: no
Been on stage: at lunch
Been dumped: no
Gone skating: yes
Made homemade cookies: no
Gone skinnydipping: ran naked
Dyed your hair: no
Stolen anything: yeah

LAYER SEVEN:
Ever...
Played a game that required removal of clothing:yes
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: hmm mabee
Been caught "doing something": yes
Been called a tease: no
Gotten beaten up: no
Shoplifted: yeah
Changed who you were to fit in: sorta i guess
LAYER EIGHT:
Age you hope to be married: i dont know
Numbers and Names of Children: i dont know
Describe your Dream Wedding: no
How do you want to die: that dont matter
Where you want to go to college: none
What do you want to be when you grow up: idk.
What country would you most like to visit: canada.

LAYER NINE:
In a guy..
Best eye color? none
Best hair color? none
Short or long hair: none
Height: none
Best weight: none
Best articles of clothing: none
Best first date location: none
Best first kiss location: none
LAYER TEN:
# of drugs taken illegally: yes
# of people I could trust with my life: a cuple
# of CDs that I own: like 16
# of piercings: 0
# of tattoos: i wish
# of scars on my body: 9 probly more i have no clue
# of things in my past that I regret: a lot.

04:03 pm: wow calm the fuck down
so


has any one herd of a bad day?


holly shit man



it was just a bad day so a sad comment



no need to go crazy

07:07 pm: another waest of a day
i dont think parents realize how big of sell outs they are. my mom grew up in the 70s she was like a hippi now look at her sucks up to the "man" like he owns her or something i dont know but my mom is going to die soon i hope.. not really but she is gay

who grounds you for lik 6 monthes for getting kicked off a bus for a week
its so gay
last night i went crazy and dint sleep
so i wrote the thing under this
i dont know
i hate my self
thers only one good thing in my life
but i never get it
becasue shes groundid to
even if she wasent i am




just like i said
life sucks nothing ever works out like its soppesed to
nothing
ever

o well




i hate this weather







































i love you liz xoxoxoxoxo i love you for ever

03:06 am: yeah w/e
ok ive been awake for 5 hours i cant stop thinking about everything like how life sucks no matter who you are and thers nothing we can do to stop that man life is so gay serusly right just think about it
your born
you learn to hate
you learn to love
then you learn to talk
so now you can say
i hate you
i love you
but you never really relize how strong those words are
ok
so now your in school
reading learning the works
so you start to see why life sucks when your like 5
so your alweys going to be negitive now
you hate school
you hate teachers
you hate other kids
you hate your parents (they made you go)
then your a little older
say middle school
you hit puberty
so now your hormones are going insane
you meet all thes chicks
your like
i love her
next week
i love her (differnt chick)
next week
i love her (another chick)
and so on
but really all you want is pussy but you lie to your self and cover that up and your all i want to marrie you when im older spend for ever with you right?
and then
you meet thes kids your all like
thes are my best friends for ever
and you think youll be freinds for ever
like 3 monthes later they hate you
new friends
you move on
you forget about it
ok still in middle school
now you hate everything again
every one wants to be all sad n fake about everything
i dont know why
people want atenshion mabee i dont know
ok now your in high school
your getting pressured into stuff
like jobs
good grades
no truble
your parents want you to be an angel
so you go crazy
start doing drugs
alright and during that holl time you knew you were going to need a job so you had high ass goals for your self
ok so your still doing drugs
slowly your goals get set lower n lower
the more drugs you do the lower it gets
now your still all like i love this chick
except
instead of 1 week
your together alot longer
but know thers all thes sluty chicks right
so your all like hmm i can cheat
but then you fuck your self over
so bam no more chick you love
give it like 4 weeks
with some one new
but for the 4 weeks you think youll never find someone again
still doing those drugs
spending all your time n money on them
your all like i need weed
scared of reality
ok so when you were little you wanted to be like a super hero or like a cop or something middle school your all like rock star actore pro something w/e
now your on drugs your like
a dealer
ok see the change
and you realize your lifes nothing
all your friends hate you again
or you dont trust them
your like my girlfriend hates me shes only acting like she likes me
my friends are using me
blah im so gay
smoke some more
everythings better
ok 18 years old now
what do you do
go to collage?
work with your dad?
find a job move on live on your own?
live with your mom like a bum?
ok choses right
thers just so maney
but your a sad kid on drugs with fake smiles
so your all like
you already droped out
you work at tacoo bell
you want to live in yur van
well sceing how your 18 your doing differnt drugs now
herrion,cock,pcp.mdma,lsd,rocks and your a drunk ass
ok so now when you get that 240 doller pay check
should of been lik 380 400
but uncil sam
and you really hate him
your hole life
music "i hate the goverment"
so your all like me 2
you dont know why but you do
because you favorit bands like sex pistols and who ever hate them
but they arnt evin amrican
why do they hate him?
ever think about that one stupid asses
ok so yeah your paycheek
240 dollers
heres your grocery list
some food for the week 80 dollers
gas ( your living in your van) for the week
well the price on gas is rasing i dont know how much
its like what 1.80 a gallon
you need like 20 dollers a day
2 4 6 8 10 12 14
140 dollers
now your like a big druggi right
so your coke you want an 8 ball 30 dollers
you want some herrion 10 bucks a pack
umm you want like 5
50 bucks
you need some weed to
you cant do those drugs with out weed
so like a half well say 70 dollers
ok lets do some adding

you have 240
80 food
140 gas
50 herrion
30 coke
70 weed
ok so thats 220 for food n gas
o now this aint looking good
150 on drugs
so thats 370
you have 240
dosnt add up does it
danm
now your like fuck
so your seeling
thats enoff to cover your drugs
so your like sweet dude
you meet a girl
now your like 20 so your a little smarter
if you say you lover her
you probly do
ok so
you 2 are to gether for a while
you have an apartment
then you have a kid
on acident
fuck
now your like
i hope this kid doesnt turn out like me
girlfriends all worried your going to leave
butt your not that big of a dick
ok
you got a kid
a job
a girlfriend
a van
and still doing drugs
man thats fucked up right
your kids sleeping on the coach and your shootin up 1 room over
wow
thats really cool
so your kid gets a little older
your a little older
your like 26
you and her got married
your drinking alot
you got fired at tacoo bell
becasue of drugs
your wife taking care of everything
becasue your drunk ass is "looking for a job"
but hey you can alweys go back to seeling
so of course you do that
now your seeling like idk well say a qp a day
thats like 400 dollers a day
money in your pocet cool
your wife all cool with that to
o bye the way shes just like you
a junkiee
a drunk
a cheep ass
ok
so now yur making big money seeling
your kids still like 5 or 6
no clue what your doing
your spoiling its ass with what ever the fuck it wants
you also are working at a gas stashion
so
you got a job again
got a wife been with for a while
a pretty good kid
its dreesed up in the cool gear
i dont know like i guess holister or w/e
yeah
ok so now your kids like 14 yur like 34
whats going to happen the rest of your life?

1- keep seeling dont get cought your lifes pretty cool kids a good kid stays away from drugs still married
ok thats the plus side of that
but the down side is
your kid hates you your a drunk and a junkii he sees how you are hes not stupid hes 15 he nows whats going on. so its afraid to end up like you stays clean.

2- o fuck..you got cought seeling.kids in a foster home your in jail wifes in rehab.hmm now what do you do? kid ran away from foster home hes s bigger junkii then you were. danm

3- stop seeling, stop doing drugs so does your wife. you stoped for your kid. you hate the fact it hates you. now hes all still a good kid. butt your brock. so your kids not so cool. it starts doing drug (remind you of some one?)you dont knnow its doing them thow.o fuckin a..your wife leeves you for some other guy with money. leeves yu the kid.........hmm so your like i fucked up some were

4- stoped seelin. still a junkii.wife too, kids getting ther, now your like a whit trash family.thats gay right. do yur really want your kidd to be like you? sounds cool..but is it really?





at the end of all those you die. hmmmm
born
life
die
death

gay shit

so yeah do you even see were im getting with this
life suck
nothing to do about it

well ther is some thing
stop doing drugs way back in the day
ok lets do this again only right



your born
you learn to hate
you learn to love
then you learn to talk
so now you can say
i hate you
i love you
but you never really relize how strong those words are
ok
so now your in school
reading learning the works
ok so your in school
you hate it
but o well you stick it out
all a's alright high five
schools not so bad
i love you
i love this
i love that
positive vibes like wow
older
middle school
ok still in the good with the grades a's b's good job
still going girl to girl
friends to friends
but it doesnt bug you
you never really thought about it
ok high school
good grades
girlfriend
good friends
yeah good life
no drugs
your nice n clean
you have no ression for em
graduate go to collage
6 years
your a history major or something
ok but
you dint get he job you want
your fine dint bug you
w/e right
try again somewere else
same job idea thow
oh nop
no good
so yur like o well
try again
fail again
so now your like fuck
i need a job
so you get one thats like paying 11 bucks an hour
you went to school for 6 years
spent like
i dont know say 8 grand a year
so like 64 grand on this shit but you were all like its worth it
on day ill have a job traviling the world making the mad bank
hmm but your not
your a Mackinac
what a waest of life right
stayed clean did his best at everything
alweys was a good guy
but in the end you still got fucked
then you die



danm
that life soundid so good too



like i sayed life suck no matter what you do


in the end its ganna suck



so i dont know what im going to do
ok yeah im most likly living the first one
i could change now
stop smoking no more drugs
ok but then what
im sure as fuck aint going to no collage
so what do i have going for me?
nothing
your right
but what do you have going for yourself
hmm
nothing
yep



gay gay world


im done trying to rebel n fight for what i want no point
i can gat arested
then im fucked
i can drop out or w/e but then ill become like a junkii
it dosent matter what i do ill be fucked in the end
o well i geuss ill just like give up and give into what they want







:(:(:(:(:(:(:(


o well
w/e
















and another thing i was thinking about


i should stop doing drugs
not becasue i want to go to collage or w/e
because
i got liz in truble because i got her to smoke
jason like hates me for it
so does alot of people
i do it to much
and thats all i spend my money on
and it makes me be an ass and like fight people for it
but i dont evin belive in vilonce
hmm?
ok w/e it dont matter any way
10 years from now no one will remeber me






fuck it

09:23 pm: fuck.......today sucks my balls
well
today
i went to school
figered out
im an idiot
who thinks way to highly of people
expeshaly ones like my friends
came home
got together some money
walked to store
turned change in to cash
called some people
meat jason half way
crowly screw me over some shit now im pissed at the world
this is some gay shit
jason got the cops called on him
like 4 cops showed up it sucked
came home
joe n anthoiney came over with emo n some chick
rob was ther
i hit him in the face for talking shit
joe was like get ride of rob
no one wants him here
and he dint leeve but they all did
except chris
we smoked
we went to jakes
i took some pain killers
then walked chris home
came here
took so more pills like 4 pm's
the crushed 3 concerta
snortid those now im fellin ok
not really
im going throw like a mental break down
so yeah you no how that is
o well
tomarrow should be goo though



w/e



















fuck you

09:21 pm: mmmmm i love nice hottt.....(fill in the blank)
if you thought sex..you were wrong. i was thinking of cheese



drrr

































so i realized

















this thing is prettty cool













today i was at my dads
he was drunk
and wanted to fix stuff
i came here
went to marhias with evin jason n jeff
then we went to my house
i called people
no weed
walked mahria home walked even jason n jeff to the fence
went to joes
smoked
went to store
got food
came here
eat
did this
going to bed
waking up
smoking a doober
going to mahrias
going to school
blah blah blah
after school seelin some weed n making some money
































































so































































see you tomarrow

















































and if any 1 actually reads this ill be amazed




















besides emo




































she just fond out i had this

08:25 am: fuckin gay
so like yesterday was gay
today is going to be gay
im going to my dads
so that means big ass partys all weeekend
but saterday
were having a seconde thanksgiving
grrrrrrrrrr
more family
i dont even know thes 1s thow
mabee ther all cool and were going to sit around a camp fire smoking blunt after blunt and drinking
idk
probly not
o well ill be online thow











im done with this thing
only like 2 people read this so yeah
fuck this thing
everyone is gay

10:09 pm: yeah
i hope the world ends tonight

everyone dies

10:01 pm: gay day
today sucks balls
i had to celebrate a holiday i hate
and hang out with alot of people i hate
my sister was ther
that made it better
shes fun to talk to at these family things
no weed
no drugs
so its sucky
the food sucked
my aunt yelled at me for eating
i had to watch some gay mtv beach thing with these rich bitches...fuck that shit to day sucked man


























liz<3

10:43 am: blah
new smiliys

10:40 am: hhh

10:12 am: i love this song
Your daddy works in porno
Now that mommy's not around
She used to love her heroin
But now she's underground
So you stay out late at night
And you do your coke for free
Drivin' your friends crazy
With your life's insanity

Well, well, well you just can't tell
Well, well, well my Michelle

Sowin' all your wild oats
In another's luxuries
Yesterday was Tuesday
Maybe Thursday you can sleep
But school starts much too early
And this hotel wasn't free
So party till your connection call
Honey I'll return the key

Well, well, well you just can't tell
Well, well, well my Michelle
Well, well, well you never can tell
Well, well, well my Michelle

Everyone needs love
You know that it's true
Someday you'll find someone
That'll fall in love with you
But oh the time it takes
When you're all alone
Someday you'll find someone
That you can call your own
But till then ya better...

Now you're clean
And so discreet
I won't say a word
But most of all this song is true
Case you haven't heard
So c'mon and stop your cryin'
'Cause we both know money burns
Honey don't stop tryin;
An you'll get what you deserve

10:01 am: more songs from the soul volume 420
We need some positive vibes for these rainy days
Let the sun come out keep push these clouds away
We need some positive vibes life’s for fun so go and play
Let the sunlight in, brighten up your day

Let the vibes blow like the ocean breeze
Mamma always told me there’d be days like these
Keep your head right, just do as you please
Never interfere with an evil man’s schemes
Keep your heart pure, conceive your own dreams
Respect your fellow man, the earth with the trees
The air that we breathe and the highest mountain peak
Bring truth from your soul to your mouth when you speak

No need to get loud .. messin with others, stressin’ your brother, it’s time to uncover
Time to choose another path you see
Cause the road most traveled’s negativity
Put your fist down (fist down), throw your hands in the air
Respect yourself, be somebody who cares
Don’t let life get you down, don’t feel abused
Keep a positive view unto yourself be true

Everyday’s a new adventure You got to keep what you got
Livin’ life in a studio bustin’ rhymes in my socks
I got to keep my head up and always do what I feel
Avoidin all the evil and just keeping it real
(I need some positive vibes)
All these situations I keep hearin’ about
People dyin’ in planes and buildings crumbling down
This world goes round for no apparent reason
People robbin and theavin’ just to feel good for the evening
(I need some positive vibes)
What happen' to everybody’s peace and love
Throw your drinks the sky, raise your hands up above
Get yo head out of the gutter and be respectful
We need some positive vibes for these rainy days so let it go
Don’t never get it twisted when I’m on this track
D-Loc the kind kid that be kickin’ it back
Of the class everyday I was high
Goin to school in 95 easy that how we ride

It’s time to leave this rat race chant down Babylon
Keep my head straight, keep my family movin' on
Find my own place, create my own space
Detach my whole scene from this wicked rat race
The two-faced friends, the snakes in the grass
Daddy always told me there’d be men like that
So watch your own back keep your eye on your stacks
Don’t ever write a check that that ass can’t cash

We need some positive vibes
(Keep on reaching for it)
For these rainy days
(Keep on hoping for it)
Let the sun come out keep push these clouds away
(What we need is, all we have is positive vibes)
We need some positive vibes
(What more can we say to you)
Lies that so forth go out and play
(What more can be said to you)
Let the Sunlight in, brighten up your day
(What we need is, all we have is positive vibes)

09:53 am: Bad habits
Bad habits
Bad Habits

Bad habits, Bad habits
Picked a few up nine years in this game
Bad habits, Bad habits
Life style's fast driving me insane
Bad habits, bad habits
Daily doses you just got to maintain
Bad habits, bad habits
Drinking beer, smoking weed, and a pack a day

A pack a day seven grams of weed A beer when i'm ready
Yall know me, yeah I got some habits, I picked up a few, it's the d-lo-c so what chu gonna do?

The demons inside me, are clinging so tightly, the voices in my head say "You don't wanna come down" m'kay.

A pack a day to get me by, an ounce of weed to keep me high
Alochol still numbs the pain, some things in life just never change
I don't know but i've been told, you live this way you won't grow old
Our addiction hits so quick, these bad habits are hard to quit

Bad habits, Bad habits
Everybody has them, who you got to blame?
Bad habits, Bad habits
Flush it all away, go an' spit it down the drain
Bad habits, Bad habits
Chemical dependencies have a hold of your brain
Bad habits, Bad habits
When my time comes, I'll go out with a bang

I got problems that I don't tell many, talk about bad habits shit, I got plenty
Nicotine, weed, beer, shooting pool and playing cards, mushrooms, pills, strange pussy fast cars

Yeah, Jonny Richter, pass the mic, better yet don't, need to pass the pipe
I'm trying to hit that shit, but you're not paying attention, I wanna pack a rip, don't trip just keep sitting

A pack a day to get me by, an ounce of weed to keep me high
Alochol still numbs the pain, some things in life just never change
I don't know but i've been told, you live this way you won't grow old
Our addiction hits so quick, these bad habits are hard to quit

Bad habits, Bad habits
Picked a few up nine years in this game
Bad habits, Bad habits
Life style's fast driving me insane
Bad habits, bad habits
Daily doses you just got to maintain
Bad habits, bad habits
Drinking beer, smoking weed, and a pack a day

This wishing addition is kinda strange to me, gotta quit gotta kick for my family
Cuz if I crash fast everybody's outie, And that's way too heavy pressing on me

It's the d double dash, I bash like an army, and when it's time to mash, I crash really strongly
I always pop a pill with the three roll bent I complish my task, you can't hold me (me)

A pack a day to get me by, an ounce of weed to keep me high
Alochol still numbs the pain, some things in life just never change
I don't know but I've been told, you live this way you won't grow old
Our addiction hits so quick, these bad habits are hard to quit

Your eyes they just won't open, you don't know what you been smoking
Got your whole family hoping "Oh I wish that he'd just slow down" (slow down)
The game is tough and silent where these groups are just smokin', soldier.
You're smoking and then toking and you're dead in the ground (Na Mean?)

A pack a day to get me by, an ounce of weed to keep me high
Alochol still numbs the pain, some things in life just never change
I don't know but i've been told, you live this way you won't grow old
Our addiction hits so quick, these bad habits are hard to quit

Bad habits, bad habits

09:41 am: fucking fuck......... evil eye
so yeah yesterday
i woke up jason came over
we hung out
tried to call leo
he has no weed
i tried to calll crowly
he has no answer
i tried to call liz
she dint answer
we walked to joes
joe came over
pretty much got are shit from liz
im going to give her 20 dollers on like when ever i see her next
jason got high for like the first time in a long long long ass time
jason went home
i went to joes
we went to the movies with ashely and amanda
left ther
we had no ride home so we walked
that sucked alot of balls
it was really cold
and my shoes have holes in the bottom of them
so i coulnt really feel my feet
sleept at joes
woke up came here now that were i am and then i gatta go to my aunts house later

08:59 am: ganna get fucked up
so
i rolled up lizs stash
they have 3 joints
ther nice a fat ass 1s to
fat ass j's
ok
then
at like 10:30 11 my sisters going to buy some sticky icky
then well roll up a few more j's
idk
hopefully to day will be fun
probly not

05:34 am: blah
last night was pretty cool
smoked some weed
hung out with joe ashely liz christina and chirs
that was cool
thats about it

09:29 pm: i hate today
so today i almost got a qp
but shit happens it was above me what could i do
went to joes for a little
went to jacobs
i got really high today
got 1 more joint for the morning
umm hopefully liz can come out some time this week
but she busy
idk
fuck it
im going to bed



















ilove liz